...begins with a single step.
So they say. Two weeks ago, I was suffering from rather intense and continuous anxiety, which had been troubling me for about 6 weeks. In desperation, I decided that maybe if I left home for a little while, I might feel better. So I left, rather suddenly, which has something to do with why there haven't been any posts for a while.
Ella and I hopped on our friend's little airplane and journeyed to Quincy, in the northern Sierra Nevada, to visit our friends Jeff and Susie. Drew became friends with them many years ago when he was living out of his VW bug with his girlfriend Foobie, while they were looking for housing in the area. Jeff married Drew and I, and we consider both he and Susie to be mentors as well as dear friends. Their place is in a lovely little pine and douglas-fir forest, along Spanish and Blackhawk Creeks. It always feels wonderful to be there, and Jeff is a very talented healer and massage therapist. They very generously welcomed Ella and I to land and ground out for a while.
We stayed in a 35-foot trailer, cooked and ate, swam in the river, took walks. We went to the Plumas County Fair (Ella LOVED the animals: goats, sheep, pigs, cows, horses, etc). I received two sessions with Jeff which were tremendously helpful in dealing with my condition. We visited and played. Ella and I had a lot of great one-on-one time, especially in the evenings, when we would retire to the trailer and read a lot of stories together before bed.
I had planned on returning to the North Coast with our friend via airplane, but his plans changed, and we had to find another way home. This delayed our return by about four days, meaning that I missed our anniversary! :( I've never really travelled without my car, so this was a different kind of way to try moving around. We tried several different ways to leave Quincy, looking for rides in cars and airplanes, contemplated having Drew use his precious days off work to drive all the way there (a 7-8 hour endeavor), and in the end, Susie, bless her, drove us to Sacramento, where we caught the train to Oakland for a visit with Grandma Barbara and Grandpa Jim. Ella really enjoyed riding the train, seeing the grass, cows, bridges, BIIIIIG boats, cars, and whatnot. I enjoyed the slightly different route, especially where it rolled around the edge of the north bay and delta through Crockett and Richmond, and that Ella didn't have to be locked into a car seat for the ride.
I had planned on riding home with my friend, who is planning a visit. Turns out I was off by a week...she is coming NEXT week, so we waited until Wednesday to ride home with Drew's mom Sherill. What a trip it all was. I'm not sure about why, but I AM feeling better, and seem to be on a positive track toward a more normal day-to-day, for which I'm very thankful.